THE JOY OF GIVING
Perhaps the real heart of massage is the human contact that it provides. Just being touched and affirmed is often enough. When giving massage, take care not to be judge¬mental; it is a process of coming together, not one of standing back. Through massage we once again feel comfortable with our bodies, rediscovering just how great the body feels. Feeling new, we see the world with fresh eyes, rediscovering our enthusiasm for simple things.
As the person giving massage, we can do a lot for our partner. It is a wonderful skill to develop. Giving is also relaxing, so as we
. Rolling the head
Apply a little oil to your hands. With your partner on bis back, neck straight, place your hands on either side of the head. Cup your hands around the base, fingers touching at the back of the neck. Now, roll your partner's head using your left hand, the right hand giving light support. The bead should roll quite naturally. If your partner is tense, encourage him to let go. Repeat using your right hand, and gently roll the head the other way
pulling the neck
Place your hands under the neck, cupping around the base of the head. Pull back gently toward you, keep your fingers under the bony ridge of the skull. The direction of the pull is like a continuation of the spine, pulling back, rather than up. Do this movement just once.
Turning the head
To turn the head, cup both hands on either side, your thumbs in front of the ears, forefingers behind. Sow. cradling the bead, turn it very gently, so it rests on top of your hand. The beauty of receiving massage is that, for once, there is no need to make an effort of any kind.
Pushing the shoulder
with your right hand still supporting the head, slide your left down your partner's neck and along the shoulder. When you reach the edge of the shoulder, gently push down away from you, giving the neck muscles a satisfying stretch. To increase the stretch, pull slightly with your right hand. Again, you should do'. this movement just one time.
Rotating the scalp
Return your left hand to your partner's head, and spreading your fingers, press down with the pads. Now use your whole hand to make a circling movement on the scalp, feeling skin move over bone. Rotate one area, then move on. Turn your partner's bead to repeat movements massage, our own bodies also let go. In being the giver, you are the one taking responsibility for a while, so it is up to you to make sure you have everything you will need.
A relaxation massage is a completely differ¬ent experience. You will find out many new-things about your partner. Getting to know your partner's tension means knowing your partner better. To relieve that tension is an invaluable gift. The massage is for your enjoy¬ment, so as you both relax, the pleasure will flow between you.
We all experience the need to relax, to have time when there arc no demands put upon us. To have the luxury of regaining our equilibri¬um, letting stresses and strains simply drain away. Through a relaxation massage, the process of relaxing and being relaxed by our partner creates a special atmosphere of intimacy and trust. Putting ourselves, literally, into our part¬ner's hands increases the understanding on both sides. At the same time, being refreshed and in a relaxed frame of mind leads on to greater creativity, and in turn, to better sex. When giving a relaxation massage, your mind is on your partner, and your wish and ability to help. While sensually pleasurable, the mas¬sage relaxes rather than arouses. There is no pressure on your partner to respond. Satisfaction comes as your partner visibly lets go, a smile of enjoyment and relief creeping across his or her face.
If the relaxation massage is to be successful, your partner must want to relax. It is no good going through the motions with someone who is unwilling to receive. It is a decision taken before you start, and is your partner's most important contribution to the massage.